Oh the Pain

Steve McKinionUncategorized5 Comments

Below is a brief post from a mother whose daughter is just a week behind Harrison in treatment.  Like Harrison, she had to be hospitalized fighting an infection a week ago. This post captures the fear and despair so many families facing childhood cancer experience. When I read this I know she means. There are no easy answers to give her, or my wife, or myself in all of this. But there does remain a hope in our Triune God.

After the hospital stay, I find myself feeling like I did when my daughter was first diagnosed. I haven’t cried in months, but tonight I’m a wreck. She has handled treatment so well and life has been pretty normal with enough every day drama to distract all of us, but that has all been trumped by this hospitalization. I am so sick of being scared. There is no fear like the fear a parent has when their kid has cancer! I’m constantly checking her temperature. A complaint of a sore throat is terrifying! A stranger at the grocery store that coughs is enough to put me over the edge. The scariest thing is that I have no control, I just have to take it a day at a time. My daughter, my baby, has cancer, and even as I say it, it’s so hard to believe. Another 2.5 years of treatment, and there is the fear of relapse, the fear of secondary problems due to the chemos. I am so scared and when I actually allow myself to “go there” it is overwhelming! I’m not a brave and strong as I come off, I’m a mom trying to keep it all together, and right now I’m grateful for my daughter being fast asleep because I am a mess!

As you read this, consider not only praying for this mom and tens of thousands like her, but also consider whether you might be able to connect with moms and dads in this situation. I hope to have some suggestions of ways to help coming soon.

5 Comments on “Oh the Pain”

  1. I like the way you are thinking Doc … my friend Kay Sampson passed away from breast cancer about a year ago. She was an awesome woman. When she worshipped God on stage her energy filled the room and motivated the people of God. She was a prayer warrior and cared so much about each individual person.
    Another special thing about Kay was she was a teacher and also a professional clown. She was not a clown by trade but by charity. She perfomed clowning for bday parties and events for free if she could inturn share the gospel. : ) Well when she got sick she would get her treatments in her clown costume and then go around the hospital spreading hope to people, that great hope. I just wanted you to know this story Doc and I hope iy helps in some way. Praying friend and ready to help you more soon.

    1. Thanks, Phillip. I’ve appreciated your encouragement from almost day one of our own journey. I look forward to helping families together soon. Blessings to you.

      1. Hi Steve,

        Touching story of your son.

        My boss liked your picture of the shephard and sheep, and was wondering how much you charge for us to use it in our newletter.



    2. Mr. McKinion,

      Your blog continues to touch me so much. As a survivor and a parent, I cannot image what this journey is like for Harrison and for your family. I will continue to pray for Harrison and this young girl as well as both families. Please let me know if there is some way to encourage them or others traveling this journey. I look forward to hearing more about the plans for helping them. Praying for you!

  2. We really appreciate the prayers for all of the families living the nightmare of pediatric cancer. You do a wonderful job of explaining the world of Leukemia. Your posts have so much insight that I’m amazed at how much you’ve learned in the last 8 months and how well you communicate it. I was so overwhelmed during the initial part of our journey that my explanations left a lot to be desired. Thank you for being a voice for so many kids and raising awareness of childhood cancer. Sending prayers your way that LTM is uneventful or our favorite word “boring.”

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