I must admit that my biggest struggle these past six weeks is a crisis over the goodness of God.
Never once have I doubted God’s ability to heal my son, either in an instant or through the three year treatment. I confess God the Father, the Almighty.
But more than once my trust in God’s goodness has wavered. Maybe I shouldn’t confess to that. While trusting his ability I have often questioned his willingness to heal. Not because I think God is evil or mean or cruel, but my love for my son and my desire to see him well clouded what I know to be true: God is both great and good. He is not “out to get” my son, regardless of how I have sometimes felt. I know that God loves Harrison more than I love him. But walking in that knowledge has, I admit, sometimes been tough.
That’s why I am grateful for those who are walking through this with me, but aren’t being burned by the fires. Those whom I know hurt with me and my boy, but nonetheless cling to the goodness of God on our behalf, interceding with God, have been my rock in this time.
Romans 8 tells me that there are times of suffering when I cannot pray, or think rightly about God and his goodness. I’m often there. But it also tells me that in addition to those wonderful men and women who are praying for and with Harrison, there is Another who stands with us: the Holy Spirit. On days when I can, I try to remind myself that the Spirit who indwells me, my son, and God’s people, prays for us when I cannot even come up with the words to say. And as you pray for Harrison’s healing, be assured that the Spirit of God participates with you in that wonderful ministry. Thank you for joining our Triune God in his work of healing Harrison.